Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
