im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
