Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
