what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You left your phone here
Wait...
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