I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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