i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
