your thong is hanging out like whoa
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He better not be in your backpack
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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