Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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