Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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