HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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