Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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