Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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