Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
