hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize