Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize