did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
