It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
