covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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