Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
