Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
