He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
