he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize