I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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