I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
