so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
