somebody snuck up and got me drunk
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
