His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
