he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
