I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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