i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Let's get the cat blown out
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
