if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize