I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You made out with two different species that night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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