those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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