did you get engaged???
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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