Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
