My room smells like vodka and shame
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
