so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
