she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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