You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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