i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
