what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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