my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
