College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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