So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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