i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
