The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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