Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
