Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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