My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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