how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
