Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
