great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
His nipple licking is glorious
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