STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
