I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
