And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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