the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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