Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize