I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
